Random zelda fan fiction
by Ereathea Shadow
Summary: Crystal gets sucked into her own zelda fanfiction. Can she avoid being another Mary sue? Who knows I certainly don't.......................... T for language
1. NO MORE MARY SUE FOR ME i hope

This fanfiction was inspired by my writers block and my lack of any non mary sue writing.

And here is my prisoner oni link with the disclaimer:

Oni-Link: HELP SHE HAS ME TIED UP AND-

Me: Ahem (holds oni-links sword to his throat)

Oni-link: I mean Eareathrea owns nothing except the clone of me she has trapped in her mind and even then she dosen't own my copyright

* * *

Crystal was writing a zelda fan fiction when she realized it was a mary sue and threw it away.

"Dammit" she yelled "why can't I write a decent Fan fic without turning it into a mary sue"

"because you suck?" said her sister Arebella

"Nice." Replied Crystal sarcastically

Arebella shruged and smiled sweetly "Just trying to help." and with that she got the hell out of my story because I never gave her permission to be in here anyway.

Crystal started on another fan fiction nut after writing down verbatem what happens at the begining of Ocerina of time and getting no Ideas she flipped back a page in her notebook and tried to write a character list.

Then when she wrote down all the main characters in Ocarina of Time She let out a grunt of Frustration and turned back yet another page and started drawing a map.

"If this fan fiction thing dosn't work out I could always write stratagy guides." she consoled herself

"What's a strategy guide?" asked a voice over her shoulder

"Somthing you'll never be able to write, Arebella." Crystal replied without looking up

"Who's Arebella?" said the voice

"What?" Crystal looked up into bright blue Eyes that were about an inch away from her face. she screamed and fell backwards onto the stone floor of the temple of time. as Crystal saw the surroundings she stated to inwardly freak out.

"Are you okay?" asked link

'older link' Thought Crystal correcting herself "Yeah" she said collecting her thoughts. 'I am having the most epic dream in all of dreamdom' she decided. "Yeah I'll be okay I just don't know how I got here."

Link Helped her up and she looked down at herself. She was in Hylian type garb and her long hair was in a braided ponytail. "Well" said Link "I don't know anyone in town well enough to ask them to help you but we could always go to the plalace and ask the princess."

Crystal nodded and followed link towards the exit at a trot. Just before they went out the door Crystal realized two things.

one... that she wasn't even starting to breath hard from running. and being that she was usually bad at anything physical this was a marvel in itself

and two since link was older that ment that the town was under the controle of Gannon and would only contain................

* * *

I'm just so mean. aren't I?


	2. Still waitin for the funny? keep waiting

Sorry for the short chapter

And here is my prisoner oni link with the disclaimer:

Oni-link: (silence)

Me: Ahem (gives threatening look)

Oni-link: Oh right! Eareathrea owns nothing except the clone of me she has trapped in her mind and even then she dosen't own my copyright

* * *

"REDEADS!!!!!!" Screamed Crystal about 4 seconds too late.

Link was caught in the hold of one of the many redeads currently populating Castle town "Thanks....(gasp).....for the warning......(gasp)..... care to ......(gasp)......lend a hand"

"OH! right." crystal searched herself and found that she had a sword hanging from her waist. she pulled it out of the scabbard and went to help link. unfortunately she was compleatly useles as a swordsman. 'Good thing you can't hurt anything but monsters and your pride in the Zelda universe' she thought to herself as she nearly decapitated link for the third time finally the redead let go and instead of staying to fight link grabbed hold of Crystal and bolted from the city all together.

"ok First off," Link said when they were outside the city "You need to learn to use a sword."

"Yeah I know." Said Crystal.

"And second," he continued "WHAT THE HELL WERE THOSE?!?"

"They were Redeads." Said Crystal nonchalantly

"What?" said link with a blank look on his face

"Readeads" said a chiming boice from links hat. Navi flew out and looked Crystal up and down. "There like zombies but with the power to freeze you where you stand with a look."

"Right" said Crystal "Redeads

"OKAY!" said link "I get it!"

they stood (or in Navi's case floated) in silence for a moment then

"Will you teach me to use a sword?" Said Crystal

"Who me?" said link

"No I mean Navi" said Crystal sarcasticaly "Of course I mean you, silly"

"Well okay....... but We'll have to train between this chapter and the next because I don't think our Attention span chalenged readers want to sit through a training sequence."

"Hey no breaking the fourth wall!" said Navi

"But he does have a point." said Crystal

"Then it's settled. Let the training comence."

* * *

Review please


	3. Chapter 4 Training was Chap3

sorry for the late update but I had to write an english paper!!! Stupid English who needs you? oh wait I do.

Oni-link is unavalible for the disclaimer as he is preparing himself for the next chapter

so without further ado the disclaimer!!

I own nothing not even the laptop I'm using to type this......that's just sad :-(

* * *

"Wow" said Crystal "That was an amazing training sequence."

"yeah" agreed Link "Much more interesting than I thought it would be."

"how much time has past?" asked Crystal

"Can't tell." said Link "We're too close to castle town the sky is not changing."

"Besides what dose it matter?" interjected Navi "It's not like things could get worse."

"she dose have a point." said link

"But I guess we should move on." said Crystal "It would get rather boring if we stayed here."

"yeah and we wouldn't want our-"

"*Ahem*" said Navi

"Right." said Crystal "No forth wall breaking, Link"

"sorry." he turned to Navi "Where to now?"

"Kakariko village Graveyard so we can get some Item from the grave keeper, and gain accsess to the forrest temple."

"YAY!!" said Crystal climbing to her feet she drew her sword and held it hi in the air pointing at death mountain. "ONWARD!!!!"

and with that she ran off tward Kakariko Village at a full run.

* * *

TEE HEE you thought I wouldn't skip the training sequence the next chapter will come soon this was just a good place to swap chapter.


	4. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!

I know the last Chapter was short but I shall make up for it here... I swear......don't kill me *meep*

I still own nothing

* * *

When Link caught up to Crystal in the Graveyard she was trying to move a gravestone by herself.......and failing miserably. "What are you doing?" asked Link

"Well..*grunt*...you see...*pant*.....under this....*strain* aww screw it under this gravestone is Dampe's grave and we need to go down there to get the hook- I mean the Item that sheik told us to get."

"Wait." said Link "First off there is no "We" I don't even know why you're here or even who the hell you are and second of all how the hell do you know whatever we..I mean _I_ need is down there?"

" that's a very good question" said Crystal casting about to find a lie that would work "uhhhhhh I used to know Dampe and uhhh"

"Liar." said Link simply

"Fine! I didn't know Dampe I just know alot about Hyrule okay? and by the way my name is Crystal." she remembered belatedly that she hadn't asked for Links name yet. "and you are?"

"Link, and apparently the hero of time though I didn't know it till fight before I met you....... or was it before that......" He sighed emphatically "Time travel." he said pointedly

"Ahh. I know what you mean. It must be confusing."

"It is."

"And about why I'm here....well..... I don't know exactly how I got here or why but you mentioned that the princess could help me so I guess that's what I should be doing." she paused then acted as though she had gotten a brilliant Idea "I know!" she said "Your on an epic quest right?"

"Yeah so, what's your point?"

"You will have to meet up with the princess eventually right?"

"Yeah."

"Then if I tag along with you and then eventually I'll meet her too!"

"Sounds good to me." Interjected Navi

"Plus." Link added thoughtfully "You could use someone with my extensive knowledge of Hyrule to help you!"

"Alright you can come along then but if you start causing me trouble or slowing me down I'm leaving you in Kakariko village."

"Okay." she said excitedly "I can live with that. now that we've got that settled can you move this gravestone?"

'to heavy for you" he replied smirking and moving to the back of the gravestone.

"Screw you!" said Crystal

"Just say when and where." Said Link laughing and easily pushing the gravestone aside and jumping into the hole.

"you win this round Link but I will win the witty banter fight eventually." said Crystal with mock vengance in her voice. then she jumped into the hole "ONWARD!!

* * *

A/N Oni-Link next chapter!!! reveiw please also If anyone wants to Beta read this story please PM me.


	5. ONILINK!

A/N still waitin' on a beta reader if anyone wants to volenteer. But you all have something to look forward too. see if I get a beta reader. My grammer and Spelling will dramatically improve.

and without further ado here is the disclaimer:

I still own nothing.... :-( Though I want to. if that makes a difference

oh yeah ........ it doesn't

* * *

As Crystal fell into Darkness she remembered something.

She had no Idea how to land.

Luckily someone caught her before she could contemplate this further. "Thanks" she said, or really she tried to say that but she looked into face of the person who was holding her. she got the impression fo blank eye's surrounded tattoos before she stated to freak out and lost all cohereent thought so all that really came out was "Tha.................n.............ks" which of course made no sense.

"What?" said Oni-Links deep voice."

"Thanks." Crystal squeaked then she cleared her throat and gathered her thoughts "I mean thanks for catching me. I had no Idea how I was gonna land."

"That was obvious."

now all traces of the fangirl squeal she had been suppressing vanished replaced by irritation "well eeexxxxcccccuuuusssse me, Princess, but it was the first time I'd ever jumped down a hole."

"Again, obvious."

Crystal was defeated again she tried to regain some dignity "You could put me down you know."

"Okay, so long as you don't intend to fall on you face for your next trick." he said playfully.

so much for dignity. desspite her irritation, Crystal couldn't help finding him infatuating, no matter how hard she was trying.....

"Why are you here anyway?" she asked

"I don't know. I was floating in darkness like is normal for being sealed in a mask then I was here Listening to _him"_ he poointed at Dampe who waved "ask me to race over and over again.

"Did you race him?" asked Crystal

"Yeah and he just went on about a prize that I couldn't find then I had to destroy several doors to get back here and try to find a way out."

Crystal hit herself in the head. "you could have at least gotten the prize now _we_ have to race him!"

"Why were _you_ trapped in a mask? and how do _you_ know-" started link

"You know what!" said Crystal thoughoughly irritated now "Just don't ask!"

Link shrank away behind Oni-Link "Who are you anyway?" he asked Oni-Link

"I'm known as the feirce diety." he said striking a pose "but you can just call me Oni-Link I guess."

_"Wow that's a coincendence My name is Link too."_

"Huh weird."

"Can we get on with it?" said Crystal positively fuming by now

"Okay" said Link "let's do this. and I think you should come withus Oni."

"Why?"

"Well your circumstances are simmilar to Crystals so Zelda may be able to help you too."

"I don't know." said Oni-Link

Crystal was feeling more positive now "You should it should prove amusing for you."

"oooohhh I like amusing it usually means wanton destruction and me killing stuff." he grinned

Link ran over to hide behind Crystal. "I see why he was trapped in a mask now"

"You Wanna race?" said Dampe

"Yes, said Crystal "we do." then they all ran after Dampe "ONWARD!!!!" yelled Crystal

* * *

A/N yay ONI-LINK Let's hope Crystal doesn't kill him.

Reveiw please


	6. ONWARD!

A/N still waitin' on a beta reader if anyone wants to volenteer. But you all have something to look forward too. see if I get a beta reader. My grammer and Spelling will dramatically improve.

and without further ado here is the disclaimer:

I still own nothing.... :-( Though I want to. if that makes a difference

oh yeah ........ it doesn't

* * *

Crystal leaned against the last door of the race course panting. though The flame balls hadn't burned her, though they hurt like hell, they did sap strength from her.

"Here." said Oni-link breaking a few pots for her to reveal some hearts

She reached for them and felt refreshed as the energy surged up her arm. "Don't you need some?" she asked.

"Nope." said Oni-Link "Unlike some people, I didn't run into every single fireball."

"He has a point." added Link as the treasure chest appeared. "Didn't we cover dodging in the training sequence?"

"Honestly I don't remember." said Crystal

"And there-in lies the problem." said Link

"What training sequence?" said Oni-Link

"Exactly." said Navi

"I don't get it." complained Oni-Link

"That's because it makes no sense." said Crystal " now we need to move on. The quicker we get to Zelda the faster Oni-Link and I will figure out how the hell we got here."

"How're we gonna get out of here anyway?" said Link

"Leave that to me." said Oni-Link pointing his sword at the door.

"Wait!" interrupted Crystal "I have a much more subtle way out."

"Awww," said Oni-Link "But I wanna blast it."

"Subtle is better." said Crystal "It won't get us kicked out of Kakariko for disturbing the piece."

"She has a point." said Link. Oni-Link lowered his sword in dismay. "so what's your way out of here?" he asked Crystal.

"Well, using logic that totally and completely makes sense." the sarcasm was fairly dripping off her "since those blocks over there have the same symbol as the temple of time on them then if you play the song of time in front of them then they should disappear."

"But that makes no sense!" said Oni-Link

Link played the song of time and the blocks disappeared.

O.O said Oni-Link

"Don't worry I don't get it either." said Crystal

After that they headed down the secret tunnel."ONWARD!!" shouted Crystal (authorr sings badly: SECRET TUNNEL....SECRET TUNNEL...THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN.... SECRET SECRET TUNNEL sorry for the musical interruption now back to your regularly scheduled fanfiction)

Twenty minutes later (after they convinced Crystal to get off the spinning platform in the windmill) Link learned a new song.

after that randomness Crystal asked Link. "Hey do you know the suns song?"

"The what song?" asked Link

"Random side quest time!" said Crystal

******Unnecessary transition************

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Link "Get them off me!" Crystal was beating off her own redead and couldn't get to him to help

"Well screw this." said Oni-Link he then blasted each redead with his sword killing them almost instantly.

"Well this was a brilliant Idea." said Navi sarcastically

"The song is just in the next room." said Crystal Ignoring Navi compleatly.

One learned song later the group departed for Kakariko village. Link was grinning foolishly.

"What's with you?" asked Crystal. it was dark and raining and she didn't see too much to be smiling about.

"Saria is going to be all grown up now." said Link dreamily

"And?" asked Oni-Link also in a foul mood because he hadn't killed anything but redeads since he got there.

"I'll bet she's hot." said link

Crystal hit him over the back of the head. "Boys." she said with playful scorn. she could understand Links attitude he probable already had a crush on Saria befor he left. now that he was past that whole puberty thing........well she didn't wanna think about it. But it troubled her too cause she knew that the Kokiris hadn't aged. 'oh well' she thought 'I'll let him figure this one out on his own.'

"To Kokiri forest!!!! ONWARD!!!!" shouted crystal

* * *

Tee Hee I is having fun updating please reveiw and If you want to further the cause of good grammer please PM me to be my beta reader.


	7. oniLink is happy

A/N still waitin' on a beta reader if anyone wants to volenteer. But you all have something to look forward too. see if I get a beta reader. My grammer and Spelling will dramatically improve.

and without further ado here is the disclaimer:

I still own nothing.... :-( Though I want to. if that makes a difference

oh yeah ........ it doesn't

* * *

Oni-Link was finally happy. The mosters that had invaded Kokiri forest were nothing but smoldering heaps.

Crystal and Link were hiding behind a rock.

"Is it over?" asked Link

"I think so. Oni-Links laugh has died down to a chuckle."

they peaked over the rock and saw Oni-Link walking twards them whistling.

"all done?" asked Crystal a little nervously

"Yep" said Oni-Link cheerfully "now where was it you wanted to go?"

"We should probably head to the forrest temple." said Link "How do we get there?" he turned to Crystal, by now he was used to the fact that she knew where to go.

"We can reach it through the lost woods." she said "It's acctually in the glen where you and........ uhhhh......nevermind."

"okay I'm gonna ignore that cause that would be just a little too creepy."

"Yeah sorry about that."

"In the future can you refrain from saying anything that makes you sound like a stalker?"

"I can try." she said "No promises though."

"Are there things I can kill in this dungeon?" asked Oni-Link

"Yep" said Crystal "there's even enimies on the way there." she gave a sidelong glance at Link "I mean there should be."

"Really?" said Oni-link getting excited "then....ONWARD!!!!!!!!!!" and he ran into the lost woods only to immediatly get lost and run back out.

"Hey that's my line!" said Crystal leading the party back into the forrest. "ONWARD!!!"

* * *

Horray for stalkerish tendancies!!! come on who dosn't want to stalk link?


	8. He She? IT!

A/N sorry for the long time between updates I had a five page paper to write a seven page paper to write and a ten minute speech to write BLEGH!!!

and without further ado here is the disclaimer:

I still own nothing.... sad isn't it

* * *

by the time the small party made it to the sacred grove where the entrance to the forrest temple was, Oni-link was humming the lost woods theme much to the annoyance of Crystal and Link. That wasn't the only reason they were annoyed with him they were also mad because he had killed every single monster they had some up against and they wanted some of the action too.

they were staring up aat the entrance to the forrest temple when the sound of a harp made them turn in unison.

"the passage of time is cruel... it-" sheil paused his....her...its harp stopping mid chord and stared at the small party "Who the hell are you people!"

Crystal ran right up to..... it.... and took a deep breath "Hi! I'm Crystal and this is Oni-link we were apparently sucked here from alternate dimentions and are now helping link in his quest to save hyrule in the hopes of meeting princess zelda so that either her or the six sages can find a way to return us to our rightful place in the cosmos so that we don't upset the balance of the univers and junk!" Crystal gasped for breath

"Ooooooookkkkaaaayyyyyyy......... well I'm just here to teach link a song so that he can warp back here later." he/she/it looked at link expectantly

"Why the hell am I going to need to warp back here now that I'm here to compleat the temple!"

Sheik glared at him "just learn the damn song!!!"

"meep" said link *gulp* "okay"

several seconds of horrible ocerina playing later Crystal snatched the Ocerina from link and played the song herself perfectly. Sheik was satisfied with that and use his/her/its epic ninja skills to depart awsomely!!!!

"Honestly." said Crystal "How did you get through the forst part of the gaaaaaaaadventure?"

"Gadventure?"

"I mean Quest. If you can't play the ocerina well how did you manage the first half of the quest?"

"Poorly." interjected navi

"What dose an ocerina have to do with kicking bad guy ass anyway?" asked Oni-link

"I wouldn't analyze it to closely if I were you." said Crystal

"Now," said link chanching the subject hastily "How do we get into the temple?"

"All we have to do is hookshot up to the branch haging conveiniently over the broken ledge in front of the entrance." said Crystal pointing

Oni-link looked at the hookshot in links hand and smirked. "I think I'll get up there on my own." he leapt up and grabbed the ledge then pulled himself up. all the while not letting go of his sword."

Link, thinking he would one up oni-link, wrapped one arm around crystals waist and used the hook shot to pull them bolth to the cliff.

Oni-Link glared at him but Crystal missed the look because she immediatly tripped after she and Link landed.

after she righted herself she lead the way into the temple.

* * *


	9. OniLink is not happy anymore

A/N you have no Idea How long I sat with my new Mp3 player looping the theme from the forrest temple trying to come up with a way that Oni-link wouldn't just destroy the temple to get the medallion............ and after a while it gets really freaking annoying...... love OoT........hate that theme right now.

and without further ado here is the disclaimer:

I still own nothing (except a new Mp3 player YAY!)

* * *

he small party stood watched as the poe sisters stole the flames from the torches and the elevator dissapeared into the floor.

Link and oni-link looked at Crystal "We gotta get the fire back from them to get to the boss." she said

"Well screw that" said oni-link charging up is sword and aiming at the floor where the elevator was. then something strange happened. Oni-Links sword floatyed free of his grasp and, in a burst of ghostly giggling, dissapeared.

Oni-Link just stood there for a moment and Crystal and Link backed away slowly

"Must.........kill.........Ghosts." said Oni-Link softly

"It's not all that bad." said Crystal comming up to oni-link to pat him on the shoulder. "We'll get it back."

LATER IN THE TWISTY HALLWAY

"Were the archetects on drugs when they built this?!?!" askes link. he was looking a little green as they emerged into the next room.

"Probably." said Crystal frowning

"What's wrong?" asked Oni-Link

"There's somthing I don't linke about this room, but I don't remember what it is. I mean I'n sensing really hate here about this particular room but I can't put my finger on it. Hmmmmmmmmm." then she heard a famillar sound but it was too late the wall master had her. as it accended twards the ceiling Crystal blacked out.

* * *

sorry for the short chappie but I got's to break it off here it's asthetically pleasing

Read and reveiw please!!!


	10. Why can't we blow it up?

A/N: sorry about the Hiatus!! it's not over but I finnally found some time to upload a chappie. I've acctually had this one done for a while but my art and engligh classes are eaating my life so i've had no time to type it. in fact I'm actually shirrking an my art project right now to do it. but don't blame me blame the school system.

And NOW for the disclaimer!!!!!!

Oni-Link: *Sniff* *sniff* I Want my sword back :-(

Me: you'll get it back soon I promise. now read what I wrote.

Oni-Link: fine....... Crystal owns nothing from this fan fiction........... (WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Me: okay then. to quote Crystal "ONWARD!!!!!"

* * *

"HEY! LISTEN!!!" said Navi moments after the Wall master grabbed Crystal "Watch out for shadows of things that fall frome the ceiling!!"

Link and Oni-Link stared at her. "I would kill her........" said Oni-Link "But I don't have a sword."

"But I do." said link.

****************************************************************************************************************************

Crystal fell hard on the floor of the first room of the termple. "Hmmmmmm" she said "I could go after them.......... but i THINK I'll just wait for them at the great Deku tree instead. I mean," she walked out of the temple "It's not like this is the hardest dungeon of all time."

****************************************************************************************************************************

Oni-Link sat on top of the Stalfo trying to strangle it to no avail while Link was having his own issues with the one he was facing. "It just won't die!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Oni-Link in frustration and started jumping up and down on it. Link finally bested the stalfo he was fencing with and came over to decapitate the one Oni-Link was jumping on. Oni-Link was still jumping on the ashes when the chest apeared.

"I GOT THE HERO'S BOW!!!" he sang

YOINK

"NO YOU DO NOT!!!!!" sang Oni-Link throwing the quiver over his shoulder.

"Hey that's supposed to be mine!" said Link rather chidishly "Besides I don't think you can weild any othe weopen but your sword."

"Well I'm the one without a weopen right now so you will just have to share." he stuck his tounge out at link.

"fine then." said Link sulkily "But when you get your sword back you have to give it to me."

"Deal"

Link and Oni-Link stepped back out into the main room of the temple.

"Remind me again why we can't just blow open the elevator shaft." Said Oni-Link

"I actually have no Idea."

one transitional phrase later Oni-Link set the last of fifteen bombs on the top of the elevator and ran back to links hidden position. "So, how do you propose we light them?"

"With this." Replied Link pulling out a small crystal with a ball of fire inside.

"But how is that gonna?"

Link slammed the crystal on the floor and a huge wave of fire spread in all directions igniting the bombs and blowing open the floor where they were.

"NICE!" said Oni-Link with a grin

they went through the hole and emerged in a circular room with a nice veiw of the boss door behind some bars. some more ombs to care of the bars but Link stared at the giant lock in the door in confusion. "How are we gonna open this? I'm out of bombs."

Oni-Link studied the Lock for a moment. "Hey gimme your sword a sec."

"Why?"

he gestured at the door. "Giant Lock" he waved a hand at Links sword "Giant lockpick."

"okay but if you break the master sword......"

he handed over the sword. a few moents later the lock fell off. oni-Link handed the master sword back to Link with a smirk. and together they entered the boss room.

**************************************************************************************************

Crystal stared at the sprout that would turn into the Deku tree sprout. "I wonder if it knows who Links father is?" she has always had a sneaking suspicion it was gannon though that would be kinda weird but then Gannondork could say somthing to the effect of "Link, I am you're father." Crystal giggled at the mere thought of it. she sighed and broke the fourth wall for amusments sake. "you know this is a compleatly pointless scene meant only to distract you from the fact that the auther is going to skip the boss battle right? oh good you already knew." she repaired the fourth wall and went back to being bored.

***************************************************************************************************

"Awww shit" said Phantom Gannon tugging at the arrow in it's eye and glowing as he started to crumble into dust

"You know the real me won't be near so easy as my phantom. what a useless creature. I shall banish it to the realm between dimentions that should keep it out of my hair."

the magic exit appeared and Link ran for it oni-Link got there right after him leaping up to grab his sword that was floating there.

* * *

A\N well that does it for this chapter. as usual I am sorry for my atrocious grammer/spelling/punctuation but hey I just kinda suck at that so *Shrugs* it is now time for my english class and I have no Idea when I'll be able to write again. I hope it's soon cause I have a great Idea for the final scenes and a segwua (sp?) into MM so I keep my fingers crossed.

Review please and restore some of my confidence as a writer


	11. What's a Fourth Wall?

A/N for those of you still reading this I commend you for keeping me on your list and I hope I do some semblance of justice to you Ideas as to where this story should go.

* * *

Crystal stood dusting herself off as she heard the fammiliar ringing of the warp from the end of the dungeon.

"It's about time you guys got here." she said as Link and Oni-Link appeared.

"Shut up!" said Oni-Link "That Dungeon was hard. and where were you?"

"I was here waiting for you guys to appear here after the Dungeon. It would have been to complicated for me to try and find you in there so..."

"Okay how on earth did you know we were going to-" Started link but at that moent the deku shrub sprouted and Crystal was spared having to explain herself.

"Hey, guys!" said the sprout cheerfully "I'm the Deku sprout."

"I'm going to ignore the creepiness of the dekutree having a son. and just wonder quietly to myself what polinated him."

The deku sprout looked at him annoyed. "Look all I wanted to do is tell you that your not a kokiri. There happy?"

Link looked shocked.

"oh come on," Said Crystal "you can't be that shocked about it. I mean you've already seen Mido and Saria so-"

Link rounded on her "how'd you know I saw Saria! Even though Oni-Link got in the portal with me he didn't show up in the sages chamber. and I hadn't told anyone yet!"

Crystal shrank back looking at the ground. "Look, even if I told you, which I shouldn't, you wouldn't believe me,and,if you did beleive me, it would scar you for the rest of your existance. so just...don't...ask"

Link considered for a moment. "Fine. I'll drop it for now, but you owe me an explaination later."

"fine"

Oni-link looked between them "ok, if you people are done bickering then maybe someone should decide where we are going next. as I understand it there are a total of 7 sage medallions we're supposed to get. we have 2. where do we get the next one?"

they bolth looked at crystal.

"Death mountain." she said Looking instinctivly in that direction.

"then it's back to Kakariko village for us." said Link

Crystal drew her sword "ONWARD!" and witht that they ran from the clearing

"Maybe I should have mentioned that book Gannondorf recently found." muttered the deku sprout "Sheik seemed to think it was important. ah well what does that tranny know anyway."

* * *

Crystal Screemed and hid behind Oni-Link "GIANT SPIDERS! MT ONE WEAKNESS!"

"acctually," Navi said "they're called Tektites"

":Shut UP! they still look like giant spiders! KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

"as you wish" said Link using Dins Fire

after an unnecissary transitional phrase our heros arrived at the goron city

SICK CHILD I'M READING TO - But how did they get there?

ME - Shut up kid do you want me to tell you the story or not?

CHILD - Lady I don't even know you. how'd you get in my house anyway

ANGRY PARENT - OMG WHO ARE YOU!

READERS - GET ON WITH IT!

ME- oh right

"So this is the city of the Gorons?" asked Oni-Link?

"Yeah." said Link "I came here once when I was a kid."

"Seven years ago?"

"yeah...or a couple of days depending on how you count it."

"Huh?"

"It involves time travel, Oni" interupted Crystal

"Oh," said oni-link satified "then I don't wanna know."

as the three of them entered the city it became apparent that there was only one goron there. and he was a little kid.

"Hey kid," said Link trying to flag down the rolling goron "Where is-" the goron rolled right over Link causing Oni-link to burst out laughing.

"how do we stop him?" asked Link

"Well nomally I'd say bomb him like you would any rolling goron." replied Crystal "but given that he is a child I think that would be rather harsh."

"I agree." said Link

"well I don't." said Oni pointing his sword at the rapidly approaching goron.

"WAIT!" said Crystal knowcking aside his swprd at the last moment.

the blast went wide and the goron popped out of his ball

"you saved me! I like you."

Crystal knelt beside him

"Cool then could you tell us what happened to the other gorons."

The chi;d imediatly started crying

"Good Job Crystal" said Oni-Link "I see that your great with kids."

* * *

Till next time cause I'm falling asleep at the keyboard

LATER


	12. Crystal's Child Care NOW HALF PRICE!

The goron child wailed even louder as crystal tried to sooth it.  
"way to go crystal" said Link  
"shut up, Link." she replied  
"Link?" said the goron ceasing his wails  
"Yeah that's me"  
"then you must be the legendary dodngo buster and hero himself!"  
Oni-Link looked at link in amusement  
"When I was a kid I Killed a giant Dodongo that was Living in the cave where the gorons get their food."  
"Yes" Piped up the small goron "He also got rid of the giant boulder blocking the cave. we would have starved without him"  
Oni-Link looked genuinely impressed.  
"One thing I always wondered though" asked crystal "you guys eat rocks right?"  
"Yep" said the Goron child  
"Then why didn't you eat the boulder blocking the cave?"  
"Well you see we only like to eat the tasty rocks from dodongo's cavern."  
They all stared in silence  
"You mean..." started link "you would have starved to death...rather than eat a rock that didn't taste good?"  
"Yep." squeaked the goron "We gorons have very discerning tastes."  
theyh all stared at him  
"but now isn't the time for that! Oh mighty Hero Link! Please save everyone! My dad, Darunia, went to the Fire Temple.A dragon is inside! If we don't hurry up, even my dad will be eaten by the dragon! B-b-b-boooo hooooo!"  
as the goron started to wail again Link looked at Crystal  
"Look kid." she said "we need you to open up the secret passage for us so we can go save your dad."  
"Oh is that all?" he did a ground pound "There you go! I thought you would say you needed fire tunics for all three of you." and with that he rolled off.  
Crystal smacked her forhead. now we have to go buy fire tunics."  
Link don't sweat it I have a full wallet how much could these things be anyway  
************************************************** ************************************************** ********************


	13. What a Bargain

"200 RUPEES!" the shout echoed out over death mountain and Kakariko village  
"calm down link." said navi  
"Shut up, Navi!" Link replied  
"how much do you have link?" asked Crystal Gently  
"*mutter*" said link  
"What was that?"  
"99 rupees!" said link  
"what? you said you had a wallet full!"  
"that's all my wallet will hold!"  
"It's okay guys" said oni-link he ushered them out of the shop "Let me handle this." he dissappered into the shop and in a few moments came out with a large bundle. "Turns out they had two kinds of tunic!. I got one of each for each of us."  
Crystal paled "Oni?"  
Oni-Link turned to her with a grin "yes?"  
"you didn't kill the shopkeeper did you?"  
"Who? me? Never!"  
"OHMYGOD YOU DID!"  
Oni-Link bust out laughing "oh! god! you should se your face!" oni-Link wiped a tear from his eye. "no I didn't kill him. I had a moons tear on me and I offered it to him in exchange for the tunics."  
"oh" said Crystal releived "really?"  
Oni-Link looked at her dead pan "Nope I killed him. ONWARDS!"  
************************************************** ************************************************** *


	14. illogical

A/N sorry for another short chappie but I is now sleepy hopefully more tomorrow but no promises as if I promise my life will explode then It will be forever and ever and ever

* * *

"how are we not dead?" asked Link looking around the Volcano  
"Because our tunics are red?" asked Crystal  
"I still don't see why I have to wear one." complained Oni-Link "I'm a god. A little lave can't hurt..." he unequiped his tunic "OHMYGOD IT BURNS!" he equipped his tunic once more. "Okay question answered"  
"Good" said Crystal now if we're all done with that. ONWARDS!" she pointed towards a wooden bridge.  
"I'm not even going to ask" Said Oni-Link  
"Good" said Crystal because if we try to reason out every illogical ting on this journey this is going to take a while."  
a hop skip and a hookshot later they made it across the bridge and sheik appeared.  
"It is something that grows over time... a true friendship. A feeling in the heart that becomes even stronger over time... The passion of friendship will soon blossom into a righteous power and through it. you will know which way to go... This song is dedicated to the powerof the heart... Listen to the Bolero of Fire...  
Crystal whipped out Link's ocarina and played with sheik. then sheik dissappeared in a wall of fire  
'How does he-" started Link  
"Because he's a Ninja!" said Crystal she pulled out her sword and pointed at the fire temple. "NOW! ONWARDS! TO VICTORY AND FIREY DOOOOOOOOOM!" and with that she jumped down a hole just inside the temple entrance  
"Did she just say firey doom?" asked Link  
"I think so." said Oni-Link "Luckily I can't die, seeing as I'm a god and all. Sucks to be you though." then he too leaped into the hole. link gulped and reached for the ladder.


End file.
